Ragged.

My periods have never been the most fun and they've been getting worse. This morning, it kicked in with a vengeance, leaving me crampy, overly emotional and sick to my stomach. The past few days I've been the stereotypical shrew around the house...nagging, complaining and being a pain in the ass. I hate it when I get like this. I don't want anyone to touch me, to be sweet to me...I just want to crawl under the covers and pretend I'm the only one in the world. Pathetic, eh?

It doesn't help that I had to interview for my job this week, and that we're all anticipating lay-offs as soon as the coming week. Brian and I are still at odds with his brother and sister-in-law as well and while it looked as if things were getting a little better, they blew up again midweek. My brother-in-law fucked up. Fine, we all do, but dammit, take responsibility for it. Brian is devastated by the situation. Neither of us likes being lied to.

My colonoscopy is scheduled for Tuesday morning, but so is the arrival of my new laptop. The new computers (we're each getting one) ensure that we can each focus on our work without getting in each other's way. Also, our current computer is a piece of shit. Helloooo, Word 97! Yeah, it's bad. You know it's time to upgrade when you need to reboot the damn thing at least once a day because opening more than one window freezes everything up. If I get the line-editor position (ohpleasegodletmegetit), I will need a faster, more fuctional computer with which to work.

I'm starting to feel more human. I had planned to go upstairs and take a nap, but maybe I will take my tea and book out on the front porch instead. It's a gorgeous sunny day and everything is finally blooming and turning green. Just the tonic I need, I think.

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