Feelin' Groovy.

I fell down the basement stairs last night.

Seriously. What the fuck??

I have an assortment of bruises and scrapes and swollen bits. I thought that maybe I escaped with no broken bones, but it's clear by looking at my blackened and enormous big toe that something ain't right. It huuuuuurts. I know there's not much to be done for broken toes, but I'm calling my doctor tomorrow anyway. Maybe she'll give me drugs. I could use some.

I scared the everloving shit out of Brian when I took my tumble, even though he should be used to my shenanigans by now. I don't know exactly what happened, but I took one step on the top stair and before I knew it, I was falling. The basket of laundry went flying as I tried to arrest my fall by throwing by body back. Somehow I stopped halfway down the stairs, my right leg awkwardly tucked under my left leg. Brian was there in a flash, no doubt expecting to find me on the basement floor with a broken neck.

We sat on the stairs for a while as I assessed the damage. Then I cried. And laughed. And cried some more. Why, why do I always do things like this?

No, really...why?

I have a long history of making an ass out of myself and hurting something in the process. Usually it's just my pride, but more and more it's something breakable.

But wait- there's more! Shortly after my adventure on the stairs, Brian and I had a massive, NUCLEAR falling-out with his brother and sister-in-law. I mean, it was nastybad. It came out of nowhere but it's here to stay for a while. Sad. But my brother-in-law's wife crossed the no-no line when she told my husband to 'fuck off' when she had no idea what was going on in the first place. Oh no, girl. We had words, she and I. She has no idea what she started.

And then today I had a meeting with my company's president and one of the vice presidents to determine my place in the company. I still have a place, for now, but the meeting was less than stellar in my biased view. Everyone in the office had the same meeting, but I can't shake the feeling that mine didn't stack up to the others.

All this in two days. What's next, a scope up the ass? Funny you should ask! Next Tuesday. 7 am.

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